Childfree and Happy

The Dimwit is going off on a tangent today. Seems that lately there's been people who seem to think that the Dimwit and Hotwit are horrible, bad, insane, liberal, etc, people because we have decided not to have children. Here's the deal: we don't want kids. Plain and simple. Our lives are too complicated at this point, so much so that we can't even get a dog, let alone have a family, even if we desired to do so. But the stark truth of it all is that we would very much rather have a dog than a mini-wit. On a recent Houston Chronicle blog, the Dimwit was accused of being gay, liberal and insane because of our choice. Look Breeders, we have no interest in joining your cult, we have no desire to exchange the next 20+ years of our life looking after another person, we'd rather spend our money on vacations, nice cars, a nice house, more vacations... you get my point. We're totally happy accepting that we are selfish and don't think it would be fair to a child to come into this world in our lives. We aren't bad people, we're honest with ourselves. Unlike the many thousands of couples out there who don't realize the same fact, have kids merely to satisfy societal expectations, to make themselves feel better, or to try and save their marriage. The Dimwit acknowledges there are other reasons to have a family, but there are SO many people who breed simply to breed, and that's just wrong. So, from here forward, if you tell the Dimwit that you're "sure you'll change your mind", the Dimwit will ask you "Really, do you want kids? Yes? You do? Well, I'm sure you'll change your mind. I don't want you to be happy either."

Those of us who don't want kids have every right in the world not to want to have them, just as much as those who want them have a right to have them.

Alright, the Dimwit rant of the month is over.

It's been a while...

The Dimwit just couldn't let this article go un-read by his many loyal followers... http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=091216/JimmyRobinson

Sammy Sosa... WTF...

Sammy Sosa... WTF... REALLY???

There is something deeply disturbing about those photos... The Dimwit thinks this is the second coming of MJ... except subsitute steroids as the vice that led to his exile...

Hahahahaha! KITTEN MITTENS!!!!!

Stickin' It To The Man

So the Dimwit stuck it to the Man today. He had a court date vs. Officer Russell with HPD... and won. If the Dimwit is truely a Dimwit, then the Dimwit isn't quite sure what word to use for this officer of the law. He had set up a little trap at an intersection near work, and as you can see it is an intersection with a stop sign. Well, this cop wrote the ticket for running a red light. The Dimwit found the loophole and let's just say the cop didn't want to pursue a jury trial to try and show that the Dimwit ran a red light at said intersection. TAKE THAT HPD!!!! 

In other news, the Hotwit and Dimwit are watching Halloween tonight... first time the Dimwit has ever seen it... yea yea yea, it's a classic that should have been seen years ago, but the blame goes squarely on the parental unit for that... a bit restrictive on the horror flicks as a child... that's the story and the Dimwit's stickin' to it.... 

Peace out homies...

Seriously???

Alright, so the Dimwit wants to discuss some NFL today. Mainly, the Houston Texans. Here is what the Dimwit does not understand: why can't the Texans go for the jugular? Up 21-0 after the first half, the Texans slammed on the brakes, played conservative the rest of the way, and ended up with a 24-21 win. Now, that strategy may work for the San Fran 49ers of the world, but when the Texans play the elite teams in the league, they are going to get clobbered. STOP PLAYING CONSERVATIVE SCAREDY-CAT FOOTBALL! I'd rather win going-away 49-0 than squeak out a 24-21 victory over a far less talented team. Once we get a lead, Kubiak thinks it's best to just sit on it and try to run out the clock with our non-existant running game... leading to frustrating 3-and-outs, as well as annoying turnovers by Steve Slaton. Anyone else notice the Pats beat up on Tennessee and Tampa by something liky 96-7 over two weeks? That's because when their offense is hot, Bilicheck never even taps the brakes. He makes sure the other team knows that the game is over, pounds them into submission and lets his second string guys get some experience in the 4th quarter.

Alright, the Dimwit is done ranting and raving... deep breathes... it will be ok... why is he so upset after a WIN, one might ask... it's because it could have easily been a 28-24 loss...

Painting is fun... except for the paint...

Ok, so the Dimwit and Hotwit have been painting this weekend. All kinds of trim and the entire "game room". It looks great, except that one cat randomly decided "look, all kinds of places for me to pee!!!" and the other thinks that this is the opportunity to get totally in the way... then there is the paint, while most of it is on the walls, the Dimwit managed to spill it all over the place, down his leg, on the floor, drips everywhere... He thinks they will spend more time cleaning it off the floor than anything else. Hopefully it will look amazing once we're done... adios amigos..

Tonight is the night...

Tonight is the much anticipated night... oh how sweet it will be... or at least the Dimwit hopes so... There have been many days of waiting, hoping, reviewing... sleepless nights... but at last... The Dimwit and Hotwit shall do it... we're going to go see Where The Wild Things Are!!!!! Let the WILD RUMPUS BEGIN!!!!!

Good Afternoon...

So it's a bit odd to be posting in the afternoon instead of the morning... but nonetheless the Dimwit carries on with the task... had his work not blocked blogger.com (and all other possible means of using blogger apps) this wouldn't be a problem... what were they expecting, the Dimwit to actually WORK??? pft... He laughs in the face of their tyranny... then does what he is told because that face of tyranny has a hand that passes out paychecks...

The Dimwit has returned to playing volleyball competitively... hopefully his back keeps up with the strain of it all... one more back injury and he may have to hang up the "athletic" mentality for good... we'll see...

On the plus side, the Dimwit is a few pounds lighter... the work's official health screening happened today to monitor our progress from May to now, and the Dimwit has lost 21 pounds and has improved in all measured metrics, including good & bad cholesterol and BMI... he is no longer considered "obese" but merely "overweight"... for now.. the goal is to be "normal" by the wedding... and yes the Dimwit is prepared for the verbal barbs about being "normal"... so BRING IT ON!

Peace out homies...

OMG THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING VIDEO THE DIMWIT HAS EVER SEEN!!!!

**** WARNING: THIS WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO THROW UP AND POSSIBLY MAKE YOU LOSE THE WILL TO LIVE ****

Thursday night and it's OFFICE TIME!

The Office is on and the Dimwit loves that Michael Scott thinks the mafia is after him. We are both off work tomorrow so we lounge about the house twiddling our thumbs and catching up on the DVR... FYI, cellphones are being turned off tonight and we're sleeping in tomorrow. Unfortunately, after many many many months of waking up at 6am, "sleeping in" means waking up at 6:45am instead of 6:00am. Boo...

So how about that kid in Colorado who his parents thought was in the balloon... classic... LOVE it... Can the Dimwit send his brother up in a homemade hot air balloon??? Sorry Natedog, but you know it'd be funny...

Alright, back to the shows... no linkage tonight, laziness at it's best... 

The Return of the Dimwit??????

Oh holy shizzle Batman! He's alive... yes, the Dimwit triumphantly returns... Yes yes yes, it's been about 4 months since the last post. There are no excuses, he just hasn't had much to blog about and would rather say nothing than ramble on aimlessly... oh wait... on to what we're all here for... LINKAGE!!!!

1) Ok, so this is a pretty interesting article... found the argument to be engaging, and definitely falls within the parameters of the Dimwit's own questions about things...

2) The Hotwit moved in recently and the old roommate moved out... so it's just the two of us and the cats... 

3) Bring on the Ping Pong... if you dare...

4) The first of many Christmas present ideas for those of you wanting to start your Christmas shopping early...

Alright all of you, the Dimwit won't overload you all at once. Future posts to follow. 

And to you Mr. Cortico... keep on pushing! You've got a wedding to attend in Houston in June! Haha!

Holy Crap! It's been a while...

Alright Dimwit Brigade members... the Dimwit is back, even if temporarily, once again... It's been a busy month, lots of stuff going on...

The wedding venue has been set. More details to follow... We've got the guest list going, trying to keep it under 125... we'll see how that goes. Right now it's at 134 and we have to trim it down... This should be fun...

The Hotwit has moved into the Dimwit domicile... she's slowly making it her place as well, the cats are being cats... luckily no puke or poo on the floor so far... Sad that the Dimwit considers that fact a "plus" rather than just "normal"... They will be fine this week, at least until Saturday when my roommate (yes he's still there, we're trying to find a way to pay for this wedding, and his rental income is a necessity) brings his English Bulldog home when he gets back from a business trip. Those cats may be ready to revolt... and then we will have Puke-fest 2009...

So what is up with all the celebrities dying recently??? The Dimwit is being very careful, he doesn't want to be the next celebrity added to the list...

Peace out homies!

Monday Mornings are sickening...

Especially when that Monday morning is the Monday morning after getting back from vacation. However it's not all that bad...

New York City was awesome and the Dimwit and Hotwit had a great time. Also,... (dramatic pause) the Hotwit graciously accepted the Dimwit's proposal of marriage (and the big rock that came with it) whilst standing on the observation deck of the Empire State Building watching the sun set... oh yea, the Dimwit got it done right... haha... he considers himself very lucky and wagers that the lack of oxygen at such a dizzying height played well into his plans... ;) ;)

No date is set as of yet... but surely detail will follow... We definitely know what we want, now we just have to figure out what budget we can pull together for it! Have a great day everyone!

The Dimwit is broken...

Sorry for the massive delay in posting. Work has been crazy and the Dimwit's personal life has been going non-stop for a while. But it all came to a screeching halt yesterday on a sailing trip down in Clear Lake. The Dimwit, Hotwit and Alex had decided to go sailing, but we had barely gotten out of the slip when the Dimwit decided to go put some stuff down in the hull, as he stood up, his back gave out. Not a good feeling. So, the Dimwit will be in laid out in bed for the next couple of days. Hopefully not too long, as he and the Hotwit are headed to NYC on Wednesday for a much needed vacation. Hopefully the Dimwit's back will decided to work again by then. 

Hope everyone is doing well! Feel free to call if you want to rub it in that you can walk to the bathroom and back without assistance! 

American Idol... Flamer Boy vs. Actual Talent...

So here’s the Dimwit’s thoughts on American Idol: Season Adam…

1) The producers anointed Flamer Boy as their winner a long time ago, even instituting the “Judge’s Save” as a means to keep Adam from getting booted off early. Seriously, you think that they had Matt Giraud in mind when they thought that up? Hell no. They knew that since Flamer Boy was a bit of a polarizing figure, they were afraid he wouldn’t hold the audience attention long enough to win the votes.
2) What’s with all the girls swooning over Adam? He’s obviously not interested in them. The Dimwit will never understand the female attraction towards gay men.
3) Kris is well within the Jason Mraz cookie cutter of pop artists and should do well, whether he wins or not. The Dimwit would buy 1,000,000 of his albums before he bought even one Flamer Boy single.
4) What’s with shrieking EVERY NOTE? Really, Adam, we know that you can shriek… how about you do a song where you don’t sound like nails on a chalk board throughout, then we can see if you have talent… or if, in fact, you are just a theatrical no talent ass clown that AI has pimped out there for all of America to suffer through.
5) So glad Gokey didn’t make it last week, he was a bit too annoying personality wise. Much like that little punk Archuleta was last year.
6) The Dimwit will conclude his American Idol thoughts with this… No more American Idol. After this season, the Dimwit just can’t handle anymore of it. Adding Kara to the Judge Panel has been a horrible joke, Simon is somewhat disinterested when he isn’t flirting with drunk Paula. Randy has become irrelevant because he starts every sentence with “Yo dawg” which just instantly discredits anything he says after that. The talent pool just keeps getting shallower and shallower… So, farewell American Idol...

Well there you go everyone… the Dimwit hopes you have a great weekend. He won’t. The Hotwit is a bridesmaid in a wedding on Saturday, so he’ll be there instead of floating down a crisp, cool, Guadalupe River. Seriously, a wedding on Memorial Day weekend???? Do these people not know that Memorial Day weekend is meant for floating down a river, beer in hand? The Dimwit is off work Friday too, which means his 4-day weekend of relaxation and celebration is to be interrupted and thrown off course…

This is just fuel to the fire of the Dimwit’s distain for attending weddings. But then again, that’s another topic for another blog entirely… if he had a phone that would update this blog on the fly, he’d give a moment by moment update during the wedding, but then he’d be ruining your weekend too… hahaha…

Quick Update...

Ok, so the Dimwit has been relatively quiet this week... work, work, work...

So, how about the Rockets sticking it to the Lakers? One more game this weekend for all the marbles... The Dimwit will admit that he thought that the series was over once Yao went down with another broken foot. Seriously, get this guy some calcium supplements. His bones are more brittle than the Dimwit's 91 year old grandmother. So, with the series now pushed to a 7th game, winner take all, there is excitement in the air. Can they do it? Can they knock the Fakers from their self-appointed throne? ESPN, FOX, et al of course say that the Fakers are going to run away with game 7, because they are the Fakers. Sure, home-court advantage could be pivotal, heck with Jack Nicholas and all the other Hollywood bandwagon fans on board, sure there will be excitement in the arena. OR, what the Dimwit hopes for, there are some many rich celebrity types wanting to see the game that it leaves an arena devoid of any real fandom, leaving it quiet and less menacing if the Rockets start off as hot as they did in Game 4 and 6.

Ok, enough about basketball, because really, sports coverage is not what you people stop by here for. Here's the info that freaked the Dimwit out today... Gwen Stefani, YES, THE GWEN STEFANI will be 40 this year!!!!! The Dimwit admits that it is just another sign that he is getting old, but it seems like just yesterday that No Doubt hit the scene with Spiderweb... geez, next think you know someone's going to tell me that Tom Hanks is in his 50's... ack!

On a side note, isn't it about time we get Tom in another comedy... what's up with that? At what point did he stop looking at comedic scripts and say "Give me serious, Oscar-nominating roles or give me death!"? Tom, please... come back from the dark side... Make us laugh again! "ARE YOU CRYING? CRYING? ARE YOU... CRYING? THERE'S NO CRYING! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!"

Too Bad Chris Farley Couldn't Join The Fun!

Kevin, you get full credit for the JibJab video below... props to you sir, that is AWESOME!!!! Enjoy ladies!!!!

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Monday Morning... can't get excited...

What a wonderful weekend, right? The Dimwit helped get his brother moved into his new house, and then spent a lazy Sunday with the Hotwit. We also went and had dinner with the family for Mother's Day. (EDIT: Per the Hotwit, it wasn't a lazy Sunday because she cleaned the apartment while the Dimwit watched basketball.)

We watched a couple of episodes of Six Feet Under... went to Target and bought the first two seasons of Dexter. The Dimwit has to get caught up on the first three seasons, as the 4th seasons starts in the fall.

But the highlight of the day yesterday was the Houston Rockets PHENOMENAL performance against the L.A. Fakers/Lakers... 34 points from Brooks??? 23 from Battier??? If you told the Dimwit that Artest would only score 8 points, and the Rockets would win sans Yao... well, the Dimwit would have just laughed at you... GO ROCKETS!!! BEAT L.A.!!!!

Not much to report... same old stuff, different day... Monday's suck, but what's new?

Wednesday is almost Thursday, which is actually Friday... YAY!

Alright, so the Dimwit has Friday off this week, which means today is kind of like Thursday... it's screwy logic, but it works.

How long has it been since linkage? FAR too long!

1) The official uniform of The Dimwit Fantasy Football Team.
2) In anticipation of the movie the Dimwit is MOST excited about this year...
3) Nothing wrong with this shirt either... wish it were true...
4) HOTWIT: Birthday present idea #1...
5) Fun game if you have 30 minutes to chase off boredom... really not that hard, but fun...
6) Want to look like a total idiot at all times? Buy and wear these...
7) IF the Dimwit played chess, this is the chess set he would use...
8) Mmmmmmm... bacon...

Alright, there you go everyone! Have a great day!

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HOLY CRAP!!!! A SUNDAY POST?!?!?!?!

The Hotwit thought it blasphemy that the Dimwit would post on Sunday, so as her punishment... see below...

It's a couple of months old, but a fair representation. So, for those of you desperately wanting to know what the Dimwit and Hotwit look like... here you go... The Dimwit is signing off now, since he's getting rude comments from the Hotwit... Have a great week... new project at work tomorrow so there may be a lag in the blogage for a while... Peace out, word to ya motha... ish...

YAY!!!! IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!

We made it to Friday!!!!! YAY!!!!

Things the Dimwit is tired of hearing about:

1) Swine Flu - media... seriously, stop making this out to be the end of the world...
2) Perez Hilton - shut up, no one really wants your opinion...
3) Miss America - shut up, no one really wants your opinion either...
4) Flooding in Houston - water will recede... it happens, it's called nature...
5) The Economy - capitalism at it's best involves volitility in the market place, especially with some of the morons these companies put in charge
6) Sacrifices CEO's are having to make - Mr. Big Bank CEO, come see my 401(k) and explain to me how you can't live in a world without your $15 million bonus check.
7) Government bailouts - either stop giving them out like candy or put some teeth in your legislation.
8) Political banter with no relevance - No more split-screen political discussions where two people attempt to yell louder than the other person. Nothing is accomplished, besides giving the Dimwit motivation to grab the remote and change the channel... which may be the best solution anyways...

Alright, so the Dimwit is a bit sour this morning... he stayed up late to watch the Rockets knock the Blazers out of the playoffs. Which was great because we did it without T-Mac, who is a big baby and egomaniac anyways.

Enough... The Dimwit is off to find a large cup of java... or at least another Dr Pepper... or some amphetamines... :-D

Crazy Thursday... if only it was Crazy Friday...

The Dimwit is ready to go home already... half an hour into the day and he's already about to kick someone in the face. Now, we won't discuss the logistics of the Dimwit actually being able to get his foot that high. Ok, well maybe if the intended target was a "little person", or sitting in a chair... or a "little person" sitting in a chair... but again, we're not discussing it...

So the Dimwit and Hotwit are taking a vacation in June. We're off to NYC for 5 days, on the first day we're there, we will be seeing The Decemberists at Radio City Music Hall. We are WAY excited about it. The other 4 days we are there, we have absolutely NO PLANS... so, what we need from you, loyal readers, is some advice. As we discussed last night, we'd like to go to the Statue of Liberty and MoMA, but we don't want to too many "touristy" things, we'd like to go to some out-of-the-way places...

Anyways, let us know if you have any suggestions...

LATER!

The Dimwit's Thought on Swine Flu

Here's the deal... every 2-3 years, some new disease is going to sweep the world and kill 50 million people... ebola, ecoli, SARS, avian flu, and now swine flu. Personally, the Dimwit thinks the media is creating this uproar. First by reporting on it every 20 minutes, then by badgering the CDC and WHO every 15 minutes for an update on the situation.

Yes, in undeveloped countries that have a huge lack of sanitation and medical services, this could be very bad. And the Dimwit is not in any way trying to diminish the impact it will have there. However, we all need to look back at these previous "pandemics" to realize that in time, humans will adapt to this virus, build a resistance and move forward. That's how we operate. It's already been proven that with the proper medication, the Swine Flu is EASILY beatable. So, in that light, the Dimwit will not be walking around with a mask on. If he gets sick, he will go see a doctor. And that will be the end of it... so CNN, CNBC, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, Headline News, and FOX... you can all just shut up already and stop trying to freak everyone out!

The Dimwit will now step down from his soap box.

Back at it..

Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ... enough badgering people, the Dimwit is back to blog again, if only for a short while. The thing is, that his blog time was usually during his first hour of work, while the coffee/Dr. Pepper was still slowing making it's way through his veins... but alas, this new project at work has taken his entire attention, as limited as it is in most cases. However, he will risk his very livelihood at this point for your enjoyment... ok, so it's not quite that dramatic, but deal with it...

So the Dimwit really did something stupid this weekend. It was a three-day weekend for him since Friday was his normal Friday off. However, he got this CRAZY idea to throw a garage sale to get rid of all the crap he's accumulated in his house over the past 3 years... Suffice to say that the first day was a bit slow, as 3 of his 4 signs were either blown off their posts or were stolen by the thievery of his Homeowner's Association. But when people did start showing up, it became a cat-and-mouse game of negotiations in mixed Spanglish over whether to accept $0.50 for a $1.00 item or not... really, did The Dimwit want to bargain for $0.75 instead of $0.50 for the sake of getting that extra quarter for the piece of crap he didn't want to have to take back into his home anyways? Yes, yes he did. Much bargaining was done, and ultimately the Dimwit won. He only had one tub of goods (to donate to Goodwill) and a breakfast nook to put back in his garage at the end of the day. The Dimwit votes to never do that again, next time he will just put everything out in the drive way and a big sign that says "Please just steal my crap" because a garage sale, profit or not, was a complete waste of his weekend.

Although in the realm of great news... the Astros managed to avoid a sweep from the Brewers this weekend, the Rockets won game 3 and 4 from the Blazers, and the Texans had a solid (if not a little questionable) draft. Oh yea, and the Houston Aeros did something in the hockey playoffs, and if he had more time, he'd go look up how they did. But alas, ESPN doesn't cover minor league hockey, so he never saw the results...

Back to work, due to some prompting from CorticoWhat... the Dimwit will TRY to get in a daily post, as this blog IS titled "The DAILY Dimwit"... but the Dimwit makes no promises.... Have a great Monday...

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!

We have a winner.... CorticoWhat... a.k.a. Bob, correctly guessed the answer: Danny Ainge. Congrats Bob, you have bested the Dimwit this time, next time you shall not be so lucky...

Hotwit: nice try but you had no chance to Google this one... the Dimwit warned you that your efforts would be fruitless...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday Trivia

Alright everyone, it's time for another trivia contest... for those 3-4 of you who read this blog...

Question: Who is the only person ever to be named to the high school All-American first team in football, baseball AND basketball?

This is going to be a tough one (he thinks)... so I'll actually raise the stakes. If you're in Houston, the Dimwit will go to Spec's and buy you a 6-pack of your favorite brew. If you're outside the Houston area, you'll be mailed a $10 bill.

Once again, send your answers to: the.daily.dimwit@gmail.com The first correct response wins the prize. If there is no winner at the end of the day, the Dimwit MIGHT post a clue or two...

Boredom seeps in...

So the Dimwit finished the project he was working on early... which means he sits here twiddling the thumbs for another 2 days until the next project starts up. Oh joy...

He has spent most of the day reading up on the Hunter 170 sailboat that he and the Hotwit are going to soon learn how to sail. Exciting stuff...

Well, there's not much exciting news going. The Dimwit is suffering through the Astros' annoyingly painful start to the season. Really? How is it that our guys seem to forget how to hit at the beginning of each year. Seriously, it's the same story every year. Slow start, everyone bats .200 for the first month of the season and then suddenly it all comes back to them somewhere in June. By then we'll be a good 10-15 games out of playoff contention and we'll have to suffer through the summer hearing Grocery King Drayton talk about how he believes in the team and that we can make a run for it! Well how about we field a team that can grab the lead early in the season and then beat the other teams in the division into submission????? Ok, before he gets his blood-pressure up too high, he'll end this tirade...

Alright... have a good day people... and thank God that tomorrow is Friday... someone hand me a beer...

Pretty Cool...

Alright, here you go people... the Dimwit found this entertaining... then again he's in a lot of pain and at work, so anything to take the mind off the pain works.

Yea, so the Dimwit has a slight tear in a tendon just below his ankle and is in a walking boot for the next 2 weeks. While the boot takes the pain away while walking, it's rather annoying while sitting still. Let's not even get into the annoyance of trying to drive a car with this thing on.

And surely playing volleyball on it Monday night didn't help at ALL...

Tuesday... better than Monday I guess...

So it's Tuesday and the Dimwit has been bogged down in this project at work for a couple weeks now and the only good news is that it will be done on Friday. But then again he already has a new project to start on Monday, so no rest for the weary...

So the Hotwit and Dimwit headed out to Brazos Bend State Park this past Friday (as they both had the day off from work!) and got to see some gators up close and personal... like within 10 feet... unfortunately (or fortunately maybe) the Hotwit would not go along with the Dimwit's idea of pulling a tail and then running away. Somehow she thought this would be dangerous... so we just took pictures. Which you are being teased with because the Dimwit is at work and has no ability to access or upload said pictures... but they are pretty awesome pictures!!!!

But the best part was their attempt to A) Read the trail map and B) Follow said map. There was a trail that supposedly went along "the southern edge of the park" but upon walking about half a mile down what they THOUGHT was a trail, they found themselves at the meeting point of two perpendicular fences. So they did what any of you would do, right? They jumped the fence. And quickly found themselves in a residential neighborhood. Not good. So, with the aide of the Hotwit's telephone GPS map, they were able to determine where-ish they were and looped back towards the park. Another fence. So, they jump this one as well. After a short walk through some forest area vaguely reminiscent of the movie Deliverance... they re-entered park territory and found their way back to the car. Needless to say after going a mile out of the way, the Dimwit was grateful for some air conditioning and a seat in the car.

Lesson learned? Don't try to read the map. Don't even pick up a map. Just follow the other people in the park.

Have a good weekend...

Karma... gotta love it...

Monday Monday... just hate that day...

Ug... Monday is here in all of her wrath...

Why can't America adopt a 3 day work week? Really, is 5 days really necessary???? The Dimwit would totally be ok working 12 hours a day Tuesday through Thursday. Really. Come on people, support him on this...

Well, no big news over the weekend... other than that the Dimwit and Hotwit decided to help out the economy a bit and scheduled a 5 day vacation to New York City in June. We are going to be seeing The Decemberists at Radio City Music Hall, check out the Statue of Libery, go to a few museums... see all the tourist destinations... we're really looking forward to it...

Ok, so there you go... happy now people?

Have a Monday!

Thursday... just a quick clarification...

For those of you who didn't realize it... yesterday's post was an April Fool's Day joke...

My mom and the Hotwit both called to confirm this fact... although the Hotwit would claim she knew all along that it was a joke...

Alright, the Dimwit has a butt-load of work... so he will get back to that now... It's ALMOST the weekend people!!!! Get krunk!!!! Yes, the Dimwit just used KRUNK, and he is aware that 1998 is on the phone and they want their phrase back...

It's Wednesday!!!!

Well, the Dimwit is saddened to report that he has been released from his duties at his former place of employment. Despite his advanced abilities and his total dedication to detail, well apparently the "economy" has unleashed it's plague upon the Dimwit's door. Cue the sad music...

So, this means there will either be a lot MORE blogging as he has plenty of time, or he will be blogging much less, as he delves deep into a rush meeting with his friends Jack, Mr. Smirnoff and Senor Rojo Toro con Jagermeister.

Have a good hump day everyone! Bah humbug!

Catfish Grablin' Girls!!!!

Somehow the Dimwit doubts that the Hotwit gets involved in this little past time... just guessin'...

Monday Morning Musings...

Good morning to all who made it through another weekend... for those of you still hungover this glorious Monday morning, well the Dimwit wishes you the best for getting through the day.

Ok, enough of shooting sunshine up your... well, nevermind... yes, as you can tell The Dimwit has sold out to the corporate world, there are now ads on the blog. However he hopes that he has placed them in such a way that they don't limit your ability to enjoy the bloggage.

This weekend was nice. The Hotwit and the Dimwit went to see Les Miserables at the Hobby Center in downtown Houston. Bravo! Great show, The Dimwit has seen in many times and enjoyed it once again.

Saturday morning we went to the Bayou City Art Festival and saw some pretty awesome art. We really liked that guy's stuff. Very cool. Saturday afternoon we headed out to Armand Bayou Nature Center for some photography and mischief. Apparently the back trails were closed, but we went walking around there anyway and were rewarded with a great view.

Sunday was just totaly bum-age. Sat around the apartment as The Dimwit completed Defensive Driving and the Hotwit cleaned the apartment. The only thing missing was a beer but he figured that drinking a beer while doing Defensive Driving probably wouldn't be a great idea...

Have a good Monday and stuff!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

OMG!!!!! Cannot wait... LOOKS AWESOME!!!! Yes, two blogs... one day... gotta love it!!!

Thursday... why aren't you Friday?????

Another Thursday of servitude...

Oh yea, you thought the Dimwit wasn't coming back this week, but he retains the right to lie about his future blogging or lack thereof. Call it "Creative License"... or something like that...

In the flood of response to his request for nicknames for the girlfriend (i.e. one comment from Cortico...) a suitable name has been established: Hotwit. The Dimwit is glad to report that this was agreed upon with absolutely no violence whatsoever. It was a much welcomed change of pace...

Although, in respect to fairness of reporting, the Dimwit must relay the following approximate exchange, which occured at aabout 2:30am yesterday morning...

Dimwit: (pulling and adjusting his pillow... but his head is still on it, so thus it never moves, hand loses grip and whacks the Hotwit directly in the face, whilst sleeping)... oops...
Hotwit: (groggy) It's ok... zzzz.....
Dimwit: *snicker*.... zzzz....

The Dimwit does not condone domestic (or non-domestic) violence of any kind... but in light of the string of events, it was pretty funny that he got away with a smack in the face with nothing more than a "It's ok..."

The Dimwit is convinced that the Hotwit is definitely plotting her revenge... and he doesn't realy blame her...

He's still alive... calm your fears...

Judging by the massive amounts of emails (i.e. NONE) wondering what happened to the Dimwit... he decided it would be best (i.e. a good 5 minute break from work) to get on the old blog and let all you people know that he is perfectly well and fine. He has been slammed with a big project or two at work and thus needs to concentrate on what he's actually getting paid for... however, if any of you readers want to pay him to blog on a daily basis at the equivalent pay scale of his current employers, well by all means, let him know and he will make a quick career change!!!!

Ok, so the Dimwit and the girlfriend were discussing something the other day, and Bob Marley came up... the following is the actual conversation:

Dimwit: He shot the sherrif!
Girlfriend: Yea he did!
Dimwit: But... you know... he didn't shoot the deputy...
Girlfriend: Actually, he did... I know it...
Dimwit: (confused) Huh?
Girlfriend: Oh yea, he shot the deputy too, but the deputy was his friend so he didn't want to say anything.
Dimwit: Oh really?
Girlfriend: Yep, that's what happened... (nom-nom-nom on a french fry)...
Dimwit: You do realize that we are actually having this conversation right?
Girlfriend: (nom-nom-nom)
Dimwit: That's why I love you. And I'm totally blogging about this... (nom-nom-nom)...
Girlfriend: Whatever, you never blog anymore...

There you go peeps... have a great rest of the week... the Dimwit will probably not be back for at least a week or so... enjoy... And by the way, if any of you have a suggestion for a nickname for the girlfriend, post a suggestion... because if it comes from you, he's less likely to get hurt for it... ish...

Tuesday... St. Patrick's Day...

Sorry everyone, but the Dimwit has been SLAMMED with work... if you want to come do it for him, by all means...

There isn't much to say, as he doesn't have much time to type... hopefully soon there will be further bloggage with more than just his apologies...

For those who aren't wearing green... *PINCH*... for those who are you should enjoy The Dimwit, Jeanne and Kevin on their quest...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!!!!!

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IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH - DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO

For those of you with a strong stomach... this is LMAO funny!!!! hahahaha...

An unhinged, angry Dimwit is not a fun Dimwit...

The Dimwit just thought he'd throw everyone off with the title of the post. In fact, he couldn't be happier... at least he is until some idiot in a BMW cuts him off on the freeway. Oh yes, he forgot that he failed to blog about this the other day... ah, yes, the refreshing feeling of napalm/ire welling up in the bloodstream... here we go...

Why is it that people who drive BMW's, Lexus's, Astin Martins and Jaguars think that because they paid 5-10 times more than the Dimwit for their car that this somehow entitles them to be absolute JERKS on the freeway??? The Dimwit is sorry, but just because you're a rich, pompous jerk this does not mean that you have the right to forcefully merge yourself into the Exit lane of 59 South during rush hour because you didn't want to wait in line like all of us other simpletons driving Mitsubishi's, Honda's and Buick's. All the while yapping on your Blackberry, giving other drivers the finger and honking as if whatever you're doing is SO much more important than everyone else's tasks. You also should not complain or cry to the police when one of the aforementioned Mitsubishi drivers follows you to your retail destination and artistically crafts a message into your side panel with a key...

The Dimwit does not condone such behavior. Nor does he judge those who have done it. (You know, the whole glass house/throwing bricks thing.)

*The Dimwit steps down from the soap box... takes a few deep breathes... smashes soap box in a fit of rage... walks away...*

So no linkage today... sorry, it is what it is people... you were warned not to get your expectations too high... you have this highly entertaining story and the Dimwit got his blood pressure up...

Another day... another dollar...

So the Dimwit finally got with the 21st century and bought an iPod Touch. He's addicted. He's listening to Bill Simmons and Adam Carolla podcasts, buying music on iTunes and being THAT guy who walks around with ear buds in all day. His greatest fear has been realized... geez, he's gotta stop being that guy...

The Dimwit can't read a damned thing on this site, but the end product is freakin' sweet... and this is even sweeter...

Forrest Gump in one minute? Really? haha... nice...

This would look beautiful over the dining room table... although the lady of the house would never approve...

Urban camouflage... the Dimwit wants to do this...

Ok, there, new format but same linkage...

And to answer your question CorticoWhat... The Dimwit will include a photo of the H-O-T girlfriend as soon as she grants him express written consent... which will happen right about the same time he straps on ice skates and does a triple sow cow on Hell's Ice Rink... but he'll keep working on it... hahaha... have a good Tuesday every one.

TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF

And he doesn't mean anything about the restaurant! It's FRIDAY!!!! YAY!!!!

Ok, enough joy and happiness, it's oppressing when overdone.

So, anyone surprised with American Idol last night? The Dimwit saw it coming... but thank the Lord above that they did not send Tatiana "Crazy As Hell" Del Toro into the finals. The Dimwit wanted to shoot lasers at her until her face exploded. She'll get a reality show gig out of this, the Dimwit regretfully predicts. Some Hollywood schulb will think "I can get huge ratings by just following this crazy loon around with a camera." And what the hell was up with her changing accents?!?!?! That girl needs a lobotomy, if there is anything left up there. The Dimwit had told his girlfriend (yea, he has one, and she is H-O-T) that if Tatiana made the top 12/13 that he would stop watching AI for the rest of the season... she instantly became a Tatiana fan... whatever, she's made him start watching Jon & Kate Plus 8... way worse than AI...

Other than that, the Dimwit wasn't really surprised with any of the judges choices. He still thinks Danny Gokey is going to win it all. He's got the best voice, personality and most talent of the entire group. Unless he does something stupid along the lines of forgetting lyrics or singing some Celine Dion crap, he should coast to the title.

Wow, the Dimwit is embarassed to have committed that many words in a blog to American Idol. He can't help it, he's addicted.

Speaking of addictions... The Mighty Stef dropped their new album today... BUY IT! It is AWESOME! 100 Midnights! AWESOME... The Dimwit puts his reputation on this... if you don't like it, well you can lower your opinion of the Dimwit... so yea, if you don't like it then he'll be down there between "Pond Scum" and "Tatiana Del Toro"...

Thursday... funny... so so so funny...

All you animal lovers out there are going to hate the Dimwit for even posting this, however he is a FIRM believer that if you can't laugh at life, you shouldn't be living. Why so serious? :-D Have a great Thursday... hey, you've gotten 4 posts this week from the Dimwit, be grateful... for every angry email the Dimwit gets from the PETA loving whack jobs, he will kill you...

Wednesday - Hump Day... The Dimwit Won't Go For The Obvious Joke Here...

Howdy... the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo got started last night. Rascal Flatts... the Dimwit was NOT in attendance, as he detests "modern" country, which is like metrosexual Hip-Hop with steel guitars. Blech. There aren't many artists he wishes to see this year, and of the three he'd like to see, two of them are on Monday nights and the Dimwit has his sand volleyball league on Monday nights, so that's a no go.

So, instead of the rodeo, the Dimwit settled in for another night of American Idol. Yes, he admits he's strangely addicted to this show. This year however, is a MAJOR disappointment. Last night was another long night of crappy performances by out of tune, wrong-song-selecting morons. The only redeeming performance was the last one, from Lil Rounds. Although the Dimwit rejects her entirely simply because her parents named her "Lil". Enough is enough people... Stop just picking words at random and deciding it makes a good name. Adjectives are not proper names. If this continues, the Dimwit will be forced to name his first child Stinky McFart Dimwit. This combines both the trend of using adjectives as names and slapping "Mc" infront of words to describe someone (thank you Grey's Anatomy for your contribution to pop culture, now stop).

The Dimwit's ability to find linkage at his place of employment has been dramatically reduced, thus the linkage has dropped off in quality and quantity. However, this should not keep you loyal readers away, as it means the Dimwit is going to have to come up with actual bloggage content...

Tuesday - Feelin' Better... and Worse...

So the Dimwit has been a bit under the weather... but he is encouraged as he is feeling better today. He only worked a half-day yesterday, slept the rest. Stupid cold/allergies.

However, the Dimwit has nothing to complain about. Recently, he has gained a new member of the Dimwit Brigade, and the Dimwit formally recognizes this because, after reading his blog, the Dimwit gained a deep level of respect for a man he will, in all reality, probably never meet. Corticowhat, the Dimwit plans on following along with you for as long as you keep blogging. For my fellow readers, take some time and catch up on his blog. His bravery is inspiring, as is his brutal honesty about his condition and lengths he will go to for his family. Not a lot of people would have the cojones to face life the same way. Thank you sir.

On another note, the Dimwit went to a Flogging Molly concert this past Friday. While the Dimwit thoroughly enjoyed the Flogging Molly Celtic Punk ROCKAGE... the opening band has garnered a fair amount of praise... The Mighty Stef... check out this guy and his Dublin-based band. Great stuff...

The Dimwit doesn't have any linkage for you today. Regarding yesterday's video... wow, talk about seeing a real presentation on the effect our culture (world-wide) is having on this Earth. The Dimwit doesn't plan on being a father, so he won't be "saving the world for his children's children's children's etc. etc... but this does get his attention. Something needs to be done... we aren't just disposing of plastic food trays by throwing it in the trash... we're throwing away our oceans, rivers, streams, fish, animals and nature. Who wants to go kayaking or river-floating through old plastic bottles and bottle caps? What's the solution? No clue. Maybe there isn't one at this point.

The Dimwit signs off now... have a good day!

Monday - A TED Talk Worth Listening To...

A rather impressive speech. This is all you're getting today people. Think about it...

Thursday... It's been a while...

Alright, so once again the Dimwit has failed to live up to the title of his own blog... but you know what? Tough. Deal with it... Life sucks, and if you rely on the Dimwit's daily dose of love, links and laziness then well maybe you need to reconsider your priorities and stop heaping expectations on the guy. Ok ok ok... he'll settle down now and get you all prepared for some linkage... no promises, no grand amazing links to blow your mind, but linkage nonetheless... linkage you've missed... admit it! Not another word until you admit you missed it...

Ok... that wasn't that hard was it????

1) FOr those offended by offensive language, don't click this link. For those of you who don't mind a certain 4-letter word being bandied about... well, here you go... NPH!!!
2) The joy springs forth from the Dimwit's heart at the site of Tresling.
3) A very important topic in these troubling times.
4) Hahahahaha... even if you don't like Mel, this is funny.
5) Maybe the best Halloween costume ever.
6) Nom-nom-nom on some ghosts!
7) It just doesn't get any cooler than this. Seriously.... no no, seriously.
8) Darth Vader... usin' his skillz...
9) And finally, for my female readers... a product you all probably would appreciate... maybe... the Dimwit has no clue whether this would be advantageous or not, he just thinks it's goofy looking enough for you all to think you have to have one and start pillow fights over who gets the last one on the shelf... *WHOA* snap back to reality... ok, anyways... there you go...

The latest installment of your linkage is done now. You might get some more on Monday, but don't oppress him with your expectations or you will get NOTHING!

Wednesday.... apparently named after Odin...

Did anyone else know that Wednesday was named after Odin? The Dimwit figured this out through his daily crossword puzzle... he was totally unaware of this...

The Dimwit is pissed off. A certain "police officer" decided that he would stake out a tiny street in downtown and nail people for doing a "rolling stop" through a rather insignificant intersection that really shouldn't have a stop sign. It's ridiculous. He got a ticket. He's not happy. He's going to fight it, as this stupid cop decided to let the Lexus driving goober infront of the Dimwit get away with exactly the same thing... There was a slight temptation to slash his tires between the parking garage and the office, as he was on the way... Really where was he when the Dimwit almost got ran off the road 20 minutes earlier on the freeway by an idiot doing 85 in a 60? No no, let's make sure people aren't making rolling stops through an unnecessary stop sign?!?!?! Grr...

Alright, well, should we assume you want linkage?

1) WOOT! It's a Woot-off!!!!
2) Vroooooooom!!!!
3) There are so many ways this is awesome... if only they were life-sized...
4) The Dimwit spent half an hour putting his friend's faces through this...
5) Yes, the Dimwit is a nerd and yes he thinks this is COOL!
6) Again, completely nerdy, yet pretty sweet... nerd bling...

That's it. The Dimwit is done for the day... back to requisitions and boring work crud...

Tuesday... It's been a while... any readers left out there????

Yea yea yea... he knows... the complaints have been pouring in... where is the Dimwit? What happened to his daily dose of linkage? Has the Dimwit suffered some horrible fate? Massive head injury? Broken fingers?

Well, to calm your fears the Dimwit is perfectly ok, actually he's never been better. The problem is that he's had a lot of work to do the past week or so and he needed to do that while "at work" so the bloggage has suffered. Additionally, the Information Technology "professionals" at his place of employment have further restricted the linkage access, so he is a bit afraid the quality of future posts may suffer... just be aware, he's still just as cool, it's the IT people that are going to make this blog suck.

Well, here goes nothing...

1) The Dimwit may soon be spending his weekends on one of these...
2) Slap one of these on and you'll get all the chicks...
3) For those of you who actually know the Dimwit, you know that he HATES his cell phone... he just found the replacement.
4) Cool calendar.
5) Kevin and Ken, The Dimwit and WooFrickenHoo have found your Christmas presents...

Alright, sorry it's so short and the Dimwit thanks Miranda for her contributions...

Friday... sweet release...

The Dimwit is not feeling the whole "blog" thing today. Not only because there's not really much to talk about, but well he's just SO excited about going to go see FANBOYS tonight at the Angelika Film Center that he can't hardly sit still.

Time for another shameless plug, this time for the Angelika. This is the Dimwit's favorite movie theater, for several reasons. First, because it is in the middle of downtown Houston and anytime the Dimwit gets to walk the streets of downtown, well he loves it. Second, it's VERY clean, they maintain the place and if he's spending $9.50 to go to the movie, he wants some ambiance and a clean seat to sit in. Finally, it is non-thug infested and generally lacks the "mommy and daddy couldn't find a babysitter" factor. Nothing against thugs (or moms and dads), he is sure they live a great life and contribute to society in a wonderful manner... however the Dimwit doesn't not appreciate their attendance at the movies, as they are generally a distraction.

Alright, there, he threw in some links. Yes, this was an extremely lazy post, but it is what it is so get over it. Wow, he's feisty today...

American Idol = Suckfest 2009

We all knew it was coming, now here it is... The Dimwit has admitted to following American Idol in previous blogs, and up until this point he has remained quiet regarding its potential for 2009. He will be silent no more, the talent pool is dried up. After watching the "Group Auditions" last night, it is evident that anyone who could make their high school choir could make this show's "Hollywood Week". There really is only one or two of these buffoons that have any talent. So it is most probable that we'll end up with some idiot being showered with confetti in a few months time, and that we'll never hear from them again, a la Taylor Hicks.

American Idol, take a break, even if it is just an extra half-year between seasons, let the talent pool deepen a bit. Unless you all are holding back on showing some REAL talent, this season may be your worst ever.

Alright, on to better things... like linkage...

1) Star Wars + Cops = Amazing.
2) Stuff like this freaks the Dimwit out.... certainly there is a rational explanation to this bit of tomfoolery...
3) Dimwit approved footwear... good job Wolverine, good job.
4) Speaking of being freaked out.... it starts with Pong, it ends with world domination... the robots WILL get us all...
5) Buy the Dimwit one of these and he'll love you forever...
6) Stereotypical, we know, but a combo of the two worst kind of drivers... any doubt why she's on attempt #772?

For those of you in the Houston area, Joel McHale is coming to Houston on the 15th! The host of E! Channel's The Soup, this guy is freakin' hilarious. The Dimwit already has his VIP Box Seats reserved, better hurry and get your tickets now!!!!!

Alright, done with that shameless plug....

*The Dimwit is in no way affiliated with Joel McHale, the E! Channel or Verizon Wireless Theater... although if any of you want to start paying him, he'll totally affiliate with you. ish...*

Wednesday... wow... already?

Not that the Dimwit is complaining, but it's Wednesday already! YAY! Even though this isn't his week for having Friday off, it still means that he's halfway through this mess and he can see the Friday night "frosty adult beverage" in his sights. Oh get ready, you bottle o' suds, you're gunna get it! Yea, that's right, talkin' smack to a beer bottle...

He watched "Man On Fire" last night with a new friend... old friend... it's complicated. Anyways, the point is that the movie was watched, and in the end it gives some pretty exact dates for the birth and death of the protagonist "John Creasy", and the date the antagonist was killed by police. Thus leading one to believe it's a true story, and in a way creating a greater emotional connection with the characters... well, I tell you now it's a fraud. It's not even "loosely based on a true story", it was a re-make of a 1987 film of the same name which was put together from a series of books by an author the Dimwit has never heard of before or since. Needless to say, Hollywood, we at The Daily Dimwit deplore your use of such imagery and shenanigans to try and trap us up in your emotional tomfoolery. If it's not a true story, don't portray it as one. We're onto your game, don't make us take this to the press...

Alright, other than that, great movie. Dakota Fanning is impressive once again and who doesn't like Denzel being the total badass shoot-em-up type? Plus Marc Anthony blows his brains out later in the movie. We don't condone suicide, but there's something to be said about survival of the fittest in this instance... The Dimwit will leave this joke alone... so tempting... must move on... drat...

So, linkage? You want it? Do ya? Do ya? Alright, he can hear all of you biting your fingernails in anticipation... here it is, but don't say we didn't warn you... oh wait, we didn't... nevermind...

1) Why is it that the Dimwit isn't allowed to wear this to work? If only it came in a Polo Shirt style...
2) Ok, so here's the warning: The video below is quite possibly the most disgusting Chinese food cooking demonstration ever. The Dimwit nearly puked. The premise of the competition: take live food, prepare it for consumption, all while keeping it alive, so that the finished product is still moving/breathing/etc on the plate. Not for the weak of stomach... ok, now we can say it.... don't say you weren't warned!!!!!

3) Oh so true...

4) Just in case you all don't know, Michael Phelps is a horrible horrible person... according to Inside Edition the other day, he not only was photographed smoking something in a "bong", but also drank a beer, touched a "dancer" and partied all night in Vegas. Surely he's going down a horrific path leading only to death and destruction...

5) WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?!? Historian geeks have WAY too much time on their hands... So what if she was hot? If we found out she was dog-ugly would we be making such a fuss?

6) Alright, so this guy is a moron...

Good day to you all... have fun and stay away from the Chinese food for lunch...

Tuesday... 6:51am... ready to be home...

The Dimwit doesn't want to be at work today. But then again, when does he? Slacker...

By the way, Jill once again won the trivia contest, as she apparently is the only reader able to use this complicated thing called "Electronic Mail". The Dimwit is still getting a grip on it himself, so he understands the confusion. The answer was "weird".

Not much in terms of linkage today, but here you go...

1) Knowing is half the battle...
2) For you Trekkers/Trekkies out there.
3) The Dimwit has plans this weekend...
4) Hahahaha... The Dimwit hates these stupid things, and this video treats them just as they should be treated...
5) Anyone else watch The Big Bang Theory????

That's all there is today... meh...

Monday Morning

The Dimwit is following some advice: Nothing nice to say? Say nothing at all.

Linkage... get motivated:
1) Parenting 101
2) Rancors come out of no where sometimes, you know?!?!
3) Could bacon find a way to be more awesome? Yes, yes it can.
4) Gotta love the Canadians...
5) Definitely a viable terrorist threat if ever there was one...
6) The Dimwit isn't sure this can be proven with scripture, but stranger things have been, so he'll leave it up for discussion... haha...
7) Who said date-stamping was only for food????
8) The French Army just doesn't get it...
9) Watch out... these guys have been let out of the looney bin...

Have a good day everyone.

Thursday... the sweetest day of the week... TRIVIA DAY!!!

Alright, the Dimwit is motivated and pumped for today! It is Thursday, which means it's the last day of the week for him. Tomorrow will involve sleeping in and gorging on leftovers in the fridge. However tonight, the Dimwit will be going out to the movies with an old friend who he recently ran into again, and is very glad he did! Slumdog Millionaire is the selection and he will of course provide a full review of its legitamacy as an award winning film either tomorrow or Monday.

Well, here's something different for linkage today... the linkage will be clues to the trivia solution...

1) The Dimwit thinks Photoshop was used to manipulate this one.
2) This guy looks WAY too calm holding this thing.
3) She is all yours Kev.
4) Wow, this is a total photoshop... scary... distrubing...
5) The Dimwit hates cats, espcially cute flying ones.
6) The economy has been rough on everyone, even for Ronald.
7) There aren't words enough in the English vocabulary to justify/describe this.
8) Mmm... mac and cheese...
9) Ummm... ok...
10) Fruity. WTH is this thing?

Alright, these were the top ten images returned from a Google.com search. The Trivia question is: What one word did the Dimwit search? Once again, email your answers to the.daily.dimwit@gmail.com. The first person to answer correctly will recieve a free beer on him at the next outing... or if you're in another state, city, country, whatever... include your mailing address and you'll recieve a $5 bill courtesy of the Dimwit. He'll even pay postage!

Have a great Thursday everyone!

Hump Day!!!

For the Dimwit's loyal readers, get your collective minds out of the gutter, espescially you Kev. It's Wednesday, which only means one thing, it's almost Thursday and since the Dimwit is off this Friday, that makes Wednesday even more awesomer.

What is there to talk about today? Really, it's been a slow week. He did find out this morning that there is a rising chance that he could be sent to Saudi Arabia soon, for what duration, who knows. But no worries, there will be internet access, you will still get your regular-ish postings.

Well, since there aren't any pressing issues on his brain today, here's your linkage:

1) Alright, if this becomes a reality show, the Dimwit is totally watching.
2) Freakin' sweet!
3) OCC has nothing on these guys...
4) This is how you get some serious work done.
5) Proof cats are evil.
6) Hahahahaha!
7) Gift Idea for the Dimwit.
8) For the love Japan, stop the madness. Blowfish testicles? Really? Delicacy = stupidity.
9) Now this is a delicacy the Dimwit could grab a spoon and NOM NOM NOM on for a while...

Have a great day everyone!

It's only Tuesday...

Wow, the Dimwit woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday. Hopped in the shower and got to the task of getting ready for work. Then BAM! The realization kicked in that it was only Tuesday and it instantly went from a great morning to a dreadful one. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Alright, well let's get started with some linkage, shall we?

1) The Dimwit wants to wage war. On Woot, these are selling 2 for $35 today... hmmm...
2) Just like from the show The Big Bang Theory, except without Kaley Cuoco. By the way, Kaley if you are reading this, his number is 555-DmWt. Hahahahaa.... no seriously, call him... we'll have his people get with your people...
3) Why didn't the Dimwit think of this? Very savvy... kudos to ya sir...
4) For all you WoW players out there...
5) Unnecessary Force - Possibly the greatest movie... ever... With the sexiest action star ever to be cast in an action role... with the most ridiculous ensemble cast ever assembled...

Monday Morning Madness

The Dimwit is awake, that's all the madness we need. Fun weekend, great time in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex... only one small problem: the freeways in that place were designed by a teams of crack addicts, unmedicated A.D.D. patients, drunks and hooligans. Add in the fact that DFW-ites drive like utter idiots, and you have the perfect recipe for Dimwit disaster. His GPS unit started cussing at him. Exit warnings at the last minute, Left Exits at the last minute thus sending the Dimwit crossing 4 lanes of traffic in 1/10th of a mile at 70mph, every road having a three digit number, and then those numbers not corresponding to any sense of logic. Seriously, DFW you really need to come up with a better system.


The Zip Line Team Building Scavenger Hunt Obstacle Course Challenge was awesome... He really wanted to use the term Synergy in there as well, but it just didn't fit. His team lost, but not out of any result of his own effort or lack thereof, Kevin and the Dimwit were two of the more active members of his team, our team just lacked a fundamental basis in communication. Too many chiefs and not enough indians. At one point, the Dimwit just shut up and listed as 14 people yelled at each other about how to accomplish the same task, kinda entertaining as a matter of fact.

There were other aspects of the weekend that were just abolutely fun and hysterical, but the Dimwit will just take joy in those within his own head. He and Kev headed out to various parts of Dallas after the Zip Line, including grabbing a burger at Snuffers... and OMG the cheese fries were amazing, heavenly... and artery clogging, which made them even better.

Well, enough ramblings about a weekend in the past... on to the linkage...

1) Storm Trooper Guilt is the number one cause of Vader-assisted suicide in that galaxy far far away... if you know a Storm Trooper in trouble, please call 1-800-HELP-A-ST.
2) Pretty cool, for you art and photography buffs out there...
3) BOOBIES. <---- No worries, this link is SAFE for work.
4) Cool wallets always get a shout out in this blog.
5) Wow, common sense and technology finally come together!
6) SHAMWOW! This infommercial sucks the Dimwit in EVERY time.

Have a great Monday!

Friday... the opiate of the overworked...

The Dimwit is thankful for another Friday, unfortunately it's one where he has to work, but Friday nonetheless. This Friday is special though, as he will be traveling to the distant land of Dallas to enjoy a day of Zip Lining and Obstacle Course challenges on Saturday. He says that to say this, there will be no bloggage this weekend. Wah Wah Wah!

It is time for the Dimwit to chime in on a debate that has been raging for years, but continues to give his favorite sport a black-eye: steroids. Yes, there are those who have been accused, those who deny, those who have admitted contritely and those who continue to plead the 5th. No, there is no way to ever definitively say whether Player A used or not.

So, the solution? The Steroids Era must be judged on the premise that either A) All players used steroids or B) None of the players used steroids. Take the case of Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds. The Dimwit personally watched these two face off in 2004. It was an amazing display and Clemens got Bonds to strike out looking. Now, one could argue that Clemens was only able to do so by benefit of the 'roids. One could also argue that Bonds was such a powerful hitter because of the 'roids. The Dimwit's point is that regardless of the circumstances, they were still two of the best players of the era. We put no asterisks next to the great players of the Dead Ball Era, so there is no need to asterisk this era. It is what it is and all we need to do is understand that while the era is clouded with suspicion, it was an era brought on by MLB's own personal ineptitude and self-agrandizing blind-eye-turning style.

Alright, that's all that needs to be said... now you get your linkage, The Dimwit is pretty sure most of his readers just skim read the past two paragraphs anyways!

1) Ok, The Dimwit is not a dog/animal/pet lover. He doesn't advocate hurting animals, but he's also not going to sign up for PETA either.... but this article, by his favorite sports writer, left the Dimwit with misty eyes. He can't begin to imagine what it will do to animal lovers.
2) Freakin' sweet.
3) OMG.... The Dimwit is ordering like a billion of these... if only it were a real product...
4) Weekend project for the guys? Kev? Ken? Let's do it...
5) Scary... on so many levels...
6) This is America, circa 2009, for you. The sad part, it's only going to get worse...
7) This guy had too much time, and too many thumbtacks.... luckily he filmed it in time-lapse...
8) Hahaha... LMAO.... ROFL....

Have a great Friday.... see all you on Monday!

Thursday... oh how you tease...

The Dimwit had nearly made it through the week unscathed. Then he checked his email this morning and there sat an omen of great peril. "Please meet with your boss Thursday at 1:45pm to discuss your job status." Stupid Outlook meeting requests.... grrr.... So, The Dimwit may very well be getting ready to ship off to some foreign land. Which would put this blog in great peril... depending on if he gets shipped to a third world country with little internet access or he gets lucky and ends up in Singapore. Anyways, more updates to come, but cross your fingers for him today.

We have a winner of the little trivia contest from yesterday... Jill was the first emailer... she said that it wasn't necessary to mention her name here, but really, you all would feel cheated if you didn't know who won, right?!?!? *crickets*.... ok, onward... what you all come here for.... LINKAGE!!!!

1) There are so many ways this story is unintentionally hilarious. Be it that it happened to a Frenchman, it involved a poodle, or that it involved "clinical depression" in someone other than said Frenchman. The French can't even fight back against poodles, why did we ever expect them to fight terrorism??????
2) Ri-gosh-darn-diculous. Wow, even a moment of silence is unconsitutional now? Really, is breathing next?
3) Sweet Monopoly set... if you have anywhere from $4,290-$7570 to spend... do they accept payment in Monopoly money????
4) Classic Art.
5) Anyone else ready for Street Fighter IV?!?!?!?!
6) Pucker up ladies!!!

Thursday is such a tease. Come on Friday, get here already!!!!! Have a good day everyone!

"Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?"

The first person to email the Dimwit and tell him what movie the title of this blog is quoted from as well as who said it, he will either buy you a "frosty adult beverage" in person (if you are in the Houston area), or mail you $5.00 so you can go get you one on him. Email your responses to The.Daily.Dimwit@gmail.com

The Dimwit will judge the first response based on gmail's timestamp. The winner will be announced in tomorrow's blog as well as by e-mail, unless he actually does have no readers and he has to keep the frosty adult beverage to himself.

We all know what you're thinking? What? Why? Well, here's the deal. The Dimwit wants to increase viewership. So he figures if he buys a drink for a friend once a week, it will force people to come back here from time to time and hear what he has to say! So yes, he will be doing this once a week. Get used to it, but don't expect it to always be on Wednesday or for it to be posted at any specific time during the day. He may just wake up at 2am to post a question...

So, onto the magnanimous job of providing linkage to the masses:
1) Nerd.
2) Want to see the progression of the world for the last 650 million years and on into the future? Simulated of course.
3) Need a place to put down your wine bottle while sailing on your yacht? Only $6500.00.
4) Hey Kev, you busy Sunday? This here's a project worth taking note of...
5) Geek.
6) This is awesome... just install a toilet and mini-fridge, and one may never need to actually stand up any more...

Later peeps.

Over-exposure and Lofty Expectations

***** CAUTION: ANOTHER POLITICAL BLOG FROM THE DIMWIT *****

Hey, did anyone else notice that today was Inauguration Day???? Whew, it's a good thing the Dimwit did some digging and figured out that today was THE day we'd all get our new dictator.... err... president. The Dimwit doesn't know why media outlets aren't covering this. At all. Can't find a lick of coverage, no matter what channel he watches.

If you can't read the above paragraph without understanding the sarcasm dripping from each word, you need to go back to remedial classes in Sarcasm 101, It's a Freakin' Joke 101 and Deal With It 101.

Really, this whole schtick in D.C. is going to leave this country with expectations so far up the wazoo... Ok, yay, we elected an African-American to president... ok, yay, it's not Bush anymore... ok, yay, there are a bunch of "changes" coming...

And the Dimwit argues that we all should be careful what we ask for. The Dimwit would be saying the same thing had the Elephants won, but we're stuck with the Jackasses and the way this country is reacting, the Dimwit must admit he's a bit scared. It seems a little "fanatic"-ish rather than patriotic. Obsession is not always a good thing and there are too many factions getting obsessed, thinking the Obama-nator is going to back their cause specifically and be their hero. Sorry to tell you this people, he still has lines he has to walk and until he ousts Congress and the Supreme Court in a military coup to set up his authoritarian rule, there are still check and balances.

For those of you who are friends of the Dimwit and who disagree with him, he totally understands and respects your right to have your own opinion. He certainly doesn't think any more or less of any of you based on whether you agree or disagree with his stance.

Here's hoping the next 4 years are better than the last... and that the GOP can find someone who isn't an octogenarian to make a run in 2012. Of course, if the military coup hasn't happened yet...
1/20/09 - The beginning of the Socialist States of America.

Could Monday suck any worse?

The Dimwit has long stood in firm belief that Monday is evil. Don't know when this happened, but somewhere in the course of time, it became unadulterated evil. Going along with your weekend, everything is just great, then BAM! Monday strikes and you realize you have to go back to the energy sucking, fluorescent light bombarding, bad coffee serving cubicle jungle.

Bah... on to some linkage!!!

1) Funny parody video.
2) Beer Flow Charts. Really, what is there in life that cannot be explained using a flow chart???
3) Awesome.
4) Has anyone else been sucked into the info-mercial for these? The Dimwit just doesn't see why "Made in Germany" is such a big part of the marketing campaign. There have been a lot of things made in Germany that have sucked. Like the East Germany women's powerlifting team from the 1984 Summer Olympics.

On that note, The Dimwit is going to get to work. One of these days he may get an office where he can actually see a window. How sad is it that this is a goal?

Ok, one more... and I'm done.... for today...

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